Two blokes are out hunting in the woods when Bloke A says "I'm bursting for a number 2 but haven't got anything to wipe my bottom on" Bloke B says "Have you got a fiver?" "Yes" says Bloke A "Well use that" so he goes off for 5 minutes and comes back with xxxx all over his hands and clothes Bloke B says "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?" Bloke A looks at him and goes "Have you ever tried to wipe your backside with 3 pound coins, five 20ps and two 50 pence pieces?"
couple of years , the old dear is a thief , my old mans a druggy , ive been caught flogging dodgy tours around the ground and worst of all i missed the decisive penalty at the champs league final ...
bridge : you think youve got it bad mate .... ive just found out the missus has aids ..
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