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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi folks, I'm not one of these people to post up relationship matters on forums but I currently don't have the right set of 'mates' to have this outburst with, ad seeing as no one knows is on here
Too well, I'm after opinions or advice/councelling, no matter how cruel it sounds.

Been with my lass for 10 months. Who was a serial cheater before she met me due to her 1st ever boyfriend doing it to her.

I'm 28 she's 19.
I do everything for her, literally everythimg, but For the last few months I've probably not paid as much attention to her as I could have, been messing with the car, or on fb or other things on my phone... Despite her numerous warnings of not liking it etc, I just carried on.

Last Friday I went to Wales for a week as it was my mothers birthday and to do stuff to the car.

I gets a call Monday morning asking me to come home as she not out little lad (who I count as my own bit isnt) was really ill, naturally with a car on pieces I couldn't :/(

We end up having quite an argument and on weds evening she hints that her feelings might have changed. Didn't really hear much more from her that evening/night.

Thursday she tells me this have changed, so naturally I jump in the car 6 hours and come home.

Only to find she's adamant she wants me gone and that she doesn't love me... Keeps telling me I can do better and that she's a bad person, naturally you think the worst!

So after a night and day of her telling and me trying to sort things out, I find out she had a lad from work round to 'watch a film' the night before. (weds)

Anyway.... It keeps going and I get it out of her that she slept with this guy.
And that she'd been texting him since October.

She then broke down and told me that she done it to see if she loved me and that because I wasn't paying her enough attention and someone else was that it just happened.

After talking a few things through we agreed to give it a go and see how things work, which ok? Sort of what I want as I love her to pieces.

Only she's still texting this other guy as she says she can't tell him over the phone that we're trying again, and that I know. She wants to do it in person when I've gone back to Wales for Xmas as she cares for him and his feelings. (she was supposed to be coming with me until all this)
She told me that when I left on Friday she was texting him all the time.

Just to add insult to injury he used to 'nod' at me when I used to pick her up from work!

Am I being a mug?

Am I right in demanding that she calls him to tell him while I'm here? As I've tried this and her answer is "you might as well take your stuff now then"

She's made it clear that we're not gonna try properly until I come back from Wales after Xmas.

What would you guys do? Think?

I've also asked her what she wants out of all this, her answer is always "well I'm trying"

I'd also appreciate answers from female members please.

I've until tuesday to decide if I may as well call it a day or at least take all my stuff to Wales to avoid havin to come back up here etc.

Also lease don't quote ANY of my posts on here as I don't want emails about the thread

Cheers
 

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I don't think you're going to find happiness there. Sounds like she's got some growing up to do and she needs to decide what she wants in life, which to me doesn't sound like settling down right now. Relationships are all about give and take and from what you've said all she's doing is taking at the moment.
 

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If she was dealing with what she'd done in a dignified, open and honest way, and trying to show you it was a mistake by putting things right, I think you'd be right to consider sticking with it, if it's what you want. The above doesn't sound like she's remorseful for what she's done and I'd question her commitment to you if she won't do the right thing by you and fire this chump off. Horrible place for you to be in, feel for you pal.

Only you can decide of course.
 

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"She's made it clear that we're not gonna try properly until I come back from Wales after Xmas."

All seems too suspicious to me mate!

If she was genuine about trying again she would of told that other lad straight away that she had made a mistake.

And her still txting him all the time is just taking the
out of you!

She clearly wants best of both worlds.

I don't know you but no one deserves that. Get shot!

Have a good Xmas with your parents in wales and start a fresh next year.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Also forgot to add that when she broke down she said she was scared to love me as I wasn't paying her enough attention and thought it was cos I was going to end it with her.

And I do feel that I pushed her into it too, as even I can see looking back that I did act like a complete tool towards her
 

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She's talking
mate, as said just finish it now.. If you don't you will become even more paranoid everytime you're apart or everytime you see her texting.
She's bad news anyway, if she loved you like she said she does then this other guys feelings wouldn't mean a thing to her and yours would. Sounds the other way around to me!

I know Christmas isn't the best time to finish it because you may feel lonely, BUT.. I'd be out over the festive period.. Get necking on with some new birds and have a good time
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
If she was dealing with what she'd done in a dignified, open and honest way, and trying to show you it was a mistake by putting things right, I think you'd be right to consider sticking with it, if it's what you want. The above doesn't sound like she's remorseful for what she's done and I'd question her commitment to you if she won't do the right thing by you and fire this chump off. Horrible place for you to be in, feel for you pal.

Only you can decide of course.
That's the thing, she didn't have to tell me and could have left me to leave not knowing, thinking all it was is a relationship breakdown, but she did tell me, and does want to try again.

She's only texting him to say that she's ill and will text another time etc until she sees him but that doesn't help me :-(

And trying again after Xmas purely as I'm only here till Tuesday which to be fair, isn't long enough to sort anything really, let along try again :-(

I know it's a bit cliche but I've been round the block a bit and have had numerous relationships, but NO girl has ever made me feel the way she does.

And I want it to get back to the way it was.
She's even said she's leaving that place of work in jan/feb now because of this. She said it wouldn't be fair,..
 

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She sounds a little messed up. She also sounds like a raving attention seeker. If you do decide to give it another go, I bet £50 that we have this same convo in 6 months.
I say get rid aswell.
 

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Also forgot to add that when she broke down she said she was scared to love me as I wasn't paying her enough attention and thought it was cos I was going to end it with her.
And I do feel that I pushed her into it too, as even I can see looking back that I did act like a complete tool towards her
Even if you did act like a complete tool to towards her, she shouldn't have gone behind your back and cheated on you. She should have spoken to you and aired her views. If it didn't work out the relationship should have ended then she could of done who or what she wants.

Agree that there's too much of an age gap. Not becuase of the numbers but maturity...
 

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She's still full of
. Say bye on Tuesday and leave it at that seriously!
I'm sure you'll find yourself a nice young piece again sometime soon
 

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Only read to 'had a lad from work round the night before',
her off mate seriously, you may not be able to see an easy way out it this point but you will thank yourself in the long run.

Boost > Women (especially the women who cheat)
 

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Get rid mate.
I know it must be "nice" having a younger lady, but there's PLENTY more fish in the sea.
At 19, I was a right floozy. I have cheated on all three of my girlfriends, but I'm now more mature and know that what I have with my missus is more than a one night fling with someone that is probably thinking the same.

It will be hard, very very hard, but get rid.
You have the car to keep you busy, so not like you need a girl. Still got a right hand aint ya?


Someone will come along sooner than you think, and everything happens for a reason.
So many
things have happened in my life, but if you think that "everything happens for a reason" then that explains where I am now, in the happiest and most stable relationship I've ever been in.
 

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Sorry to say a lot of members other halfs have to put up with us constantly working on our cars I know mine does and although it does get mentioned my wife wouldn't dream of doing what your other half has.

From the posts you've made it seems you've already made the decision to give it a go and I applaud that but at the same time it must feel you with a little trepidation as to what's going to happen between now and when u get back after Xmas!.
 
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